Should You Write in Second-Person POV? (Featuring Examples of Green Leaf Audios ASMR)
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I'd like to take a moment and say, this is my 100th post. Cheers!
What Is Second-Person Point of View?
The narrative of first-person perspective is told from the viewpoint of "I" while that of third-person is the name of the protagonist/narrator along with their pronouns. The narrative of second-person perspective is told from the viewpoint of "you." However, "you" isn't as straightforward as you might think. Generally, yes, "you" refers to the reader and is used as an immersion technique, but there are other variations of "you" that we'll see further down. Second-person POV is probably best known from the "Choose Your Own Adventure" style of books and games.
I love Diane Callahan's videos on all aspects of writing. Callahan provides various book (and movie) examples of the second-person POV in the video below. While it's a lesser used POV and argued to be risky, there are several reasons to use it in your story (provided that it fits the story in the first place).
Why Write in the Second Person?
With second-person POV being the rarer of the three POVs, these types of stories stand out and can be just as immersive. People will point out that having to hear the word "you" so many times irritates them or takes them out of the story. That may be because first- and/or third-person are their preferences... or it could be that they aren't used to hearing or reading second-person POVs, so they notice the "you" more easily. I mean, having to read or hear "you" isn't too far from reading or hearing "I" all the time. The writer should be able to incorporate a balance of sentences that begin with "you" and sentences that don't to keep readers/viewers/listeners engaged.
Another reason writers should be encouraged to write in the second-person when they want to is because the "you" isn't necessarily directed to the reader's self. As Callahan says in the video above, "you" could refer to:
- The narrator or protagonist's past self
- The reader, but as a character designed by the writer
- A general audience that may or may not include the reader
- Another character in the story (It can be said that this is not second-person because the reader is on the outside, looking in like they would for first- and third-person POV.)
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When Should You Use Second-Person POV?
Certain variations of second-person POV can be hard to pull off since the writer is asking readers to suspend their belief and allow themselves to be immersed in the story in a more personal way than first- and third-person POVs. At almost any age, people love storytelling; it's a form of escapism, it can remind them of their childhood when their relatives or guardians read to them, etc. So, second-person POV allows them to be closer to the story than with first- and third-person POVs. Consequently, it can evoke more excitement and help readers/listeners/viewers think critically and reflect from this rare perspective. Margaret Atwood wanted her readers to analyze the societal inequalities in her short story Bread, so she used second-person POV.
You know when something bad happens to someone else, we are generally sympathetic and/or empathetic and may even try to help said person. However, when it happens to us, an accident, an injustice, for instance, it feels more personal. We are more likely to be driven by motivation to get restitution, to stop something from becoming worse for us, or to spread awareness of our situation.
In You've Got Mail, one of the scenes that stands out to me is when Tom Hanks' character, Joe Fox, says to Meg Ryan's character, Kathleen Kelly, "It's not personal; it's business," since his company is trying to put her bookshop out of business. Later, her response is, "Well, it was personal to me."
When you want your readers to feel involved in the story and see things from a new perspective, second-person POV may just be the way to go. Or, the format you're writing for, like ASMR, may require you to do it in the first place.
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Examples of Second-Person POV (Writing and Audio)
In the novella I'm writing (which may be a novel by the time I'm done), I went with second-person POV because it was initially a fanfiction story bridging the gap between the roleplay videos of an ASMRtist. ASMR roleplay videos often put the listener as the protagonist, the star of the story. In doing so, the script must be inclusive, which means using non-binary language and/or second-person POV. In these roleplays, the ASMRtist must give the listener, the "you" character, lines only they "hear" so as to progress the story.
Much like books, ASMR video and audio scripts won't be everyone's cup of tea, whether or not they effectively portray second-person POV.
Audience
The above audio was written by me because I love mysteries and the content creator known as "Green" (after his channel's name Green Leaf Audios ASMR) had the right name to play Mr. Green from the movie and game Clue/Cluedo. ASMR focuses on relaxing, and roleplays provide a story for entertainment. So, in the Clue scenario, it's stressful since there is one or more murderers killing off the guests. By putting the listener in the place of one of said guests and being a potential victim, this provides a reason for the listener to need calming down by the content creator's character.
Despite this audio trying to be inclusive (hence the Male4All tag), the character the listener plays won't appeal to every type of person. I asked a coworker of mine, a self-identified cis white male, to listen to the audio and give me feedback. The character of Mr. Green is caring and helpful in a semi-authoritative/paternal role. For my coworker who is a similar type, they were not able to be immersed in the story or relate to it.
This script and audio are also focused on anxiety relief, which is someone not all listeners have experienced first-hand or witnessed. Several commenters on the video appreciated the anxiety relief aspect of the story, with at least one person saying they could relate to it. Additionally, the script is specific to a movie that is deemed a "cult classic" and focuses on mysteries, so again, both these aspects won't appeal to every listener, thereby taking away from the immersion. But that doesn't mean my coworker and the commenters don't still appreciate the script and audio since they are both pieces of art.
Characters
The content creator, Green, has said himself that he's aware of his voice being ideal for characters with a dominating nature. One such dominating character he plays is the yandere.
The word "yandere" (pronounced Yawn-der-ay") derives from two Japanese terms: "yanderu" (to be sick) and "dere-dere" (lovey-dovey, moonstruck, infatuated). A yandere is someone who is lovesick and who goes to extreme or violent means to deepen a relationship. They focus their affections on one person, which can become obsessive and possessive.
--Spoiler warning for this next video--
The Fallen Angel character is a yandere because he desires the human listener and exhibits a level of deception and control while sometimes thinking he know what's best for the listener's character: "Human, be very honored because I choose you."
--End of Spoiler--
The Fallen Angel video is a tame yandere example. Apparently, there are various levels of the yandere character (I didn't know!). Many yandere videos will portray this type of character in an eventual obsessive state where they elaborate on all the ways they will be with the target of their affections, which means completely controlling the listener's character and isolating them from everyone. The setting is often a basement where the listener's character is held captive. This type of atmosphere and story can evoke feelings of anger, fear and resistance, for example, in the listener/viewer, demonstrating that this type of second-person story is not something everyone will like, even if it's fictional.
Many of Green's dominant characters employ a certain language that gives weight to the story being a variation of second-person POV.
Language
If you watched Callahan's video above "All About Writing in Second Person," then you will remember that she referred to one of the second-person POV variations as "hypothetical" where the listener is treated like a general audience and given directives and commands.
In this audio, the listener is an android of soldier class being repaired. This provides the opportunity for the listener's character to be obedient, which means Green's character will use commands, such as "Power on," "Please introduce yourself to me" and "Try to control those twitches." Here, we have the character dynamic of dominant/submissive that I mentioned in the previous section. You'll notice in this video, however, that Green's monologue contains various instances of "let's," providing an inclusive language for the audience.
Essentially, second-person POV will definitely not appeal to everyone, but that shouldn't stop you from appreciating it and using it in your work if it's the right POV to use.
Show and Don't Tell (Too Much)
Telling is useful for quickly conveying the passage of time or presenting important facts to the reader without belaboring the point. - Diane Callahan, "How to Show, Not Tell: The Complete Writing Guide" (1:11-1:19)
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| From Diane Callahan's "How to Show, Not Tell: The Complete Writing Guide," (6:50) |
When it comes to ASMR videos and audios, the listener's character is almost always silent, so listeners don't know what is said, but the ASMRtist does know. Audios have an extra layer of unknown because there is nothing to see. This means the ASMRtist/content creator must provide the listener with context and description, which can be tricky since the monologue must include the information the listener's character will have said while casually describing appearances, behaviors and environments.
Examples
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Audios require an immediate setting of the scene, so I had Mr. Green verbally admire the plants of the manor's conservatory at the beginning of "Mr. Green Calms You Down [M4A] [Anxiety Relief] ASMR Roleplay." And to make it seem that Mr. Green was speaking to himself, I had him act surprised that someone else was there while including some description by having him mention why he couldn't see the listener's character: “Oh, hello! I didn’t realize anyone else was in here. The fronds and monstera leaves were shielding you. I’ve been dying to see this conservatory all evening..." (1:27-1:42). In that last line, I helped out listeners by having Mr. Green specify the room they're both in. While the content creator, Green, is technically telling us all the information, it's written in a way that doesn't feel like it; listeners are given context clues so that they can understand the scenario and/or build their mental image.
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| Photo by Pierre Antona on Unsplash |
The audio above titled "Goth Fallen Angel Chooses You [M4A] [Yandere] ASMR Roleplay" includes the transitional "What?". For instance, Green's character, the goth fallen angel, converses with a human after being suddenly kicked out of Heaven. The Fallen Angel says, "Sorry, you probably have no idea what's going on. I'll be off, now. Goodbye," (2:38-2:44). There is a pause for the listener and since the Fallen Angel said they'd be leaving, something needs to be inserted to demonstrate that the character changes their mind and stays, which can easily be done with having them say, "What?" This does double duty as an indicator that the Fallen Angel changed his mind and signals that the listener spoke, thereby continuing and progressing the conversation.
The Fallen Angel asks, "What?"
Pause for Listener's character dialogue.
Fallen Angel: "Help you? How? Why?"
Pause for Listener's character dialogue.
Fallen Angel: "You're being followed?"
Pause for Listener's character dialogue.
Fallen Angel: "Oh, you mean those two over there?" (2:48-3:03)
There are two things in this conversation (monologue?) that I want to point out. Firstly, the content creator repeats what the listener is believed to have said, except they pose it as a question. When the Fallen Angel asks "Help you?", the listener is to assume that their character asked for help. Instances like this are helpful for the audience to know what's happening, but it can sometimes come across as unnatural speech if this conversation took place in real life; if the writing overdoes this, it can destroy engagement, causing listeners/viewers to stop the video and never return.
The second aspect I want to point out is the rest of the Fallen Angel's dialogue. "You're being followed?" indicates, again, that this information was said by the listener's character, but it starts to add to the setting. Since the beginning of the video (or before because of its title), we know that we're outside since an angel fell from the sky. But in knowing that we're being followed, we imagine that we're most likely on a street and it's twilight or night-time. When the Fallen Angel says, "Oh, you mean those two over there?" we know how many followers there are and that they're at a distance.
Like in the "Mr. Green Calms You Down" audio, Green provides context clues so that listeners can follow along without getting annoyed with an overuse of repeated questions.
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| Photo by Possessed Photography on Unsplash |
In the final audio titled "Technician Fixes You [Android Listener] [M4A] ASMR Roleplay," we see that sound effects play a significant part in providing context clues to listeners. The audio opens with sounds of crickets, signalling that the listener and Green's characters are outside. Without it, Green would have to weave some sort of description into his dialogue.
During this scene, Green mentions "I have a lot to get through... all this junk," which helps us imagine or deduce that we're in a junk yard or the site of a robotic attack. To signal a change in setting, Green specifies, "Well, you're coming with me, back to the workshop." Additionally, we learn that his character is a type of mechanic or technician (in case you forgot the title of the video or clicked so fast out of excitement that you didn't read it).
Green's character is alone in his workshop, fixing an android, which provides a good setting for his character to talk to himself, as well as to the listener. For example, Green instructs the android/listener to resist him when he pushes them in order to test their physical strength. His response is "Whoa!" along with a sound effect of him landing in his chair, but to make this clear to listeners, he makes the casual remark "Damn, right back into my chair," but it's a natural remark since he was surprised at the android/listener's level of strength.
Good stories are a mixture of showing and telling; it takes a lot of work and creativity to use them well in any POV you decide to use.
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| Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash |
Conclusion
Writing in second-person POV, especially when you're not used to doing so, can be frustrating because you will forget and slip back into first- or third-person POVs (I know, I've done it in my novella and had to go back and edit whole scenes). It will take practice to get into the "you" mindset as you write. But it's like any other character; it has its own personality and voice.
Since it's the rarer of the three POVs, I highly recommend reading novels and short stories, as well as watching ASMR videos to start learning about second-person POV in-depth. That's where I started, and in doing this blog post, I feel I learned a little bit more about this POV.
Other Posts on Writing
Author Interview: Following the Writer's Path with Indie Author Erin Bowlen
Guest Post by Gen Methot: Why I became a Writer
Conflict vs. Chaos: What's the Difference?
How to Describe Characters Without Being Boring
Scooby-Doo and the Gang: A Character Case Study (Part 1)
The Scooby Gang Case Study (Part 2): "What Do You Do for the Gang?"
Worldbuilding Tips for Writers Part 1: Landscape, Ground & Trees
Exploring the Theme of Truth and Lies in Storytelling
Check out my posts on the writing of various genres.
I have a freelance business where I offer editing, beta reading and ARC reading for mysteries, historical fiction and fantasy stories. Feel free to email me about your project at smurphy.writer1@gmail.com.
Happy reading and writing!
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